Yester-days

The sad eyes that once held the world in them
have now been droopy with the tolls you have taken,
the lonely nights have now been worse,
it’s just been longer and colder.
You drop your hands on my palm
and I can count the mistakes on your wrists,
One , Two, Three, Four….
Your jitters get worse and your fears take the shape you hated most.
Your name has lost it’s meaning in your head
and when someone calls you by that name,
you look back with a morbid stare to ward them off.
Your eyes that would love to feel the darkness of their lids,
have now not been shut for days
because it’s easier to live in this reality than the other.

We stand on the cliff of a mountain, like the old times
but this time, the wind isn’t making your lips stretch to a curve,
rather making your eyes moist
slowly glistening with teardrops on the brim.
You breakdown and wail and throw your arms around
just so that someone would hold you tight,
and just not give up,
but you do all of this inside your head,
while staring dead straight at the dusky sun in the angle between the trees afar.
Your jacket arm slips as you sigh
and just like that my hands are there to help them onto your shoulders.
As I do, I feel your bones, cold as they come,
cold to the core peaking out of your skin
as if desperate to come out of the body.

We warm ourselves over a cup of your favorite tea,
the green kind, the one I never understood and yet
have been drinking for the last four years
trying to get rid of the taste of everything else with every sip.
You haven’t said a word and I haven’t asked.
I haven’t stopped staring at you all this time
and you haven’t been able to bring your eyes to my face
but stuck on the tea cup.
I stand up and leave by the end of the third hour,
because the silence is killing me
and you are too.

That was the last I heard of YOU.
Nine months and Eleven days have passed by
and I know this is a little too late,
but I am sorry.
I am sorry I wasn’t there for all the times you were hurt,
I am sorry I couldn’t be there for the lows or the highs,
I am sorry I walked out when I should have hung around.
But it’s a little too late.
It’s all in the Yester-days.
Stay blessed my love, stay happy and most of all,
keep the jacket on your shoulders still. You need them
and so I do.
Maybe soon, I will realize why this tea was your favorite after all!