I am not
I keep my eyes fixed to the dirt on the roads
because mom said I am not supposed to look up.
I keep my chest guarded with the neck of the blouse
as high as they can make because my dad said,
it is too छाडा for a girl to wear something below the collar bone.
I keep my hands tightly paralleled to my hips and legs
while I walk the street because,
a girl isn’t supposed to walk with hands flapping around.
I keep my edges of my skirt and kurtas long enough to cover my knees
and insecurities because I am not to be “the kind of girl to show her thighs”.
I am not supposed to let go of my bra at home
because we still have a brother who is impressionable
and isn’t supposed to know what a bra is,
so I am supposed to cage my breasts like the passengers in Nepal Yatayat.
I am not supposed to talk about how my body aches every month for a week
and my hormones that drive me crazy- Icecream? Chips? Chocolates? None ? All?
Because just like the sanitary pads wrapped neatly by the pharmacist in a newspaper,
I am supposed to wrap up all of that like nothing has happened,
like I am okay and there’s nothing wrong.
I am not to laugh whole heartedly or
love fully and break my heart a few times,
I am not to kiss a few lips and taste the blood rush or
just enjoy warm cuddles on a chilly winters somewhere over the hills
with someone I want to share the hill with,
because that’s not what girls do,
because that’s not what I am supposed to do.
And when my brother goes out with his “girlfriend”
to a nice get away and enjoys his alone-time,
he is just doing what boys his age do.
And when goes around the house in his boxers
and shares his conquests on different girls,
he is a macho man,
he is a normal boy.
SuritBhattarai
Hi! I like writing about all sorts of stuff and sharing them. I am a full time Study Abroad Consultant by job and I also do a few public speaking events. I travel for my work and I absolutely love doing so. Subscribe so you don't miss out on my posts :) Cheers! Surit.
6 Comments
Aly Chiman
Hello there,
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We are in the midst of updating our broken link resources to include current and up to date resources for our readers. Our resource links are manually approved allowing us to mark a link as a do-follow link as well
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If you may be interested please in being included as a resource on our blog, please let me know.
Thanks,
Aly
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Hi
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Mark
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I have subscribed to your newsletter. 🙂
Hope to hear from you soon.
P.S.
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Regards
Jan Zac
Donya Bietsch
i love this amazing post
SuritBhattarai
Thank you 🙂